I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
do herpes really smell.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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