I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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