i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
