he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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