seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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