I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
