no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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