My hand turned me down
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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