It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
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