Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
