If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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