Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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