I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
