Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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