So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
