My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
