She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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