You work out of a Hotel?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
