D3 body, D1 cock
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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