Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
