She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
