is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
