Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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