your room smells of hookers.
And success
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
