she told me i tasted like america
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize