I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
