For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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