SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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