you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
