I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
