Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
