dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize