I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
