Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
