I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
