it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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