Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
