I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
