Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize