i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
