It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
