I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize