So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
