worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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