I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
