you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
