I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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