I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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