I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
