guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
