is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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