...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
