I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
