im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
