well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize