woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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