i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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