PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
