Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
