Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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