he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
