Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
