So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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