porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I want to make a zoo with you.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
