A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
