I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
