OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
