The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize