It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
