I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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