at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
