did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
