my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize