So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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