You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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