She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
