JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
