dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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