i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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