Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
