sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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