At least make sure they are 18
Why
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
