i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
